18/10/09... a start

In a day that was meant for introspection and a greater realization I journeyed across various dimensions of myself. I saw and felt things that will maybe allow me to heal. In my room all day long I found more of myself than I would have in a conscious search for myself.

From a classroom with 5 rebels to a classroom of poets and a captain to the paradise which is hell, Bruges. To the final understanding of how companies budget to the privatization of the government and a rebirth of the spirit to discover. A renaissance of the mind is what my day gave me today. Contemplation was the theme and it began with what I thought was a decided path. Old friends and new taught me resistance, from the self and from the world I live in. The movies I watched today brought a great perspective to my life to think beyond what I believe are my great miseries. Old friends taught me new lessons and new ones showed me my old ways.

A paradigm shift in what is my understanding of myself is required so that I can overcome my frailties. There is just so much to explore and discover that it will be a shame if I let the world get the better of me. I will not be brought down by myself and I will not lay down my weapons. I have always limited myself to believe that I work a certain way but none of us do. We all like living in our well designed mirages, we reek of our past and it spreads in us like a parasite.

The MBA, the self discovery, the fight within, the fight with the ones I love, the fears, the compulsions, the strength to overcome, the playlist, the bookmark, the page waiting to be turned, the word waiting to be typed, the tears that never come, the smile that hides the tear, the pretence that all is fine, the music that keeps me alive, the time that bleeds away, the wait for a revival, the angst within, a need to break away…I know I can.
Time for me to begin living.


well well well... Hold the mast and direct the storm to your destination?

well said in the last para.....

beautifully written... a lot of contemplation must have gone into such deep thinkin :) do well!