My Social Quotient

Recently I have been hearing a lot of people comment on social awkwardness, people’s (and sometimes ‘my own’) inability to socially relate and for some reason instantly equate that to a reducing ability to connect with the world. Here are some of the things I have been hearing about myself and comments directed at others:

You need to apply yourself more in a social gathering or you stick out like a sore thumb.

Embrace the hashtag. It is the only way to evolve (#ihatehashtags)

Till when can you continue ignoring the presence of people in your life?

Solitude makes you unhappy – Well it wasn’t framed exactly this way but after about 12 lines of gibberish it was all I could gather.

Now let me ensure you at the outset, I am no social outcast nor do I intend to be. I enjoy the company of people but yes I have become increasingly selective of who these people are and am constantly assessing the value they add to my life. Now some people would very quickly dismiss me as a snob and close the tab of my blog and decide to hate me a tad bit more from this day. But I pray you continue to read, maybe, just maybe there is something here for you too. I have begun to embrace the power of anonymity, not the kind that spews famous quotes with an ‘Anonymous’ at the end to heighten the mystery of the original contributor, but the kind that fulfills me. I believe that life is a sum of the conversations you have, the experiences you live and the moments that inspire you. The richer the three, the longer your life. Sounds good, right?

Well unfortunately in the quest for these I have to answer some pretty sticky questions. Like the ones above and others concerning my devotion and affiliation to people. The people who feel the need to question that instantly enter a self-defeating game where they are constantly reducing their value in my life themselves. I choose to stay away from those conversations as having to prove your value to someone in any terms other than time spent, meaningful conversations and subtle gestures is pointless. My argument being: is the person going out of his/her way to prove value to you, being selfless? Is that who you want in your life? The answer technically doesn’t matter. The value of a person should always be in your eyes, the moment it diminishes in the way you define it, you disconnect but to expect others to see the same definition too is tantamount to all the many beliefs forced upon people over the years.

Over the past half year I have seen an incredible growth in these beliefs of mine. And believe it or not, they haven’t happened by locking myself in a room as per popular perception but by choosing to limit my interactions and ensuring they are fruitful. Travel has been an amazing companion, so has my new Nexus Tab J but most importantly it has been a few friends who have had the maturity and innate ability to redefine the way I think, act and support me through these changes when I most needed them. They have accepted my flaws and embraced my quirks and allowed me to breathe. The last one year has taught me many lessons, some very cruel ones but all intended to ensure I reach this point in time and I can’t complain anymore.  

There have been more first this year than in all my life and also more lessons than ever before which has helped me define my idea of a ‘social quotient’.

At no point am I prescribing to alienate the people around you or in any way consider yourself different but to only embrace the idea of ‘you’. It is the person you live the longest with and the more battles you fight with yourself the more the wounds and the lesser the growth. Choosing what makes you a better person and more engaged in your relationships is a path I surely vouch for. I do realize that this post is bordering on the ‘self help’ dribble that is doled out every now and then but honestly how often do you get to change the way you perceive the life you are living and actually do something about it? We are living in exponentially non-personal times with the space you create for yourself constantly being broken by the social demands you bow down to. Cut through that because it is possible and then see if you really enjoy life that way and if you do then have the will to stand by it.

I constantly question myself everyday to understand what I’m doing better and this obsession drives me. From more digital and paperback pages to more miles on the road and treadmill to heavier weights in the weight room to even heavier emotions around me, everything is just a matter of defining your social boundaries. Once that is done suddenly everything begins to become so easy, just so freaking easy!

Now all of you stop imagining me in scary ‘self help guru’ avatar but just look around your life and see what can be changed. And if it’s fun and fulfilling, I’m ready to help and support you through it.